Effects of a Father Wound on Your Adult Life

Marga Hogenhuis
25 sep
3 minuten om te lezen

Do you often feel rejected or not good enough in relationships? Women between the ages of 30 and 55 may struggle with fear of commitment, need for control or self-rejection, without knowing why.

One possible cause lies in the father wound. My name is Marga Hogenhuis-Flokstra. I am an integrative therapist in Purmerend, Amsterdam and online. I guide women who want to heal the impact of a father wound.

So you can learn to trust again. In yourself and in others.

You recognise the pain but not the origin

Linda, 39, had everything seemingly in place. Still, every relationship would fall apart once things got too close.

She often felt smothered or ignored. She kept people at a distance.Her mind longed for love, but her body shut down the moment someone was truly available.

As we explored her story, her father kept coming up. Emotionally absent, unavailable, sometimes critical and unpredictable.

She had learned to protect herself. To not feel too much.

Maybe this sounds familiar to you. You feel responsible in relationships. You seek reassurance. Or you keep control out of fear of being hurt.

As if you're trying to build a house without support beams. And it keeps collapsing.

What is a father wound?

A father wound is formed when your father was physically or emotionally absent.He may have been distant, critical, dominant or simply not there.

You learned to make yourself invisible. Or to fight for attention. You didn’t receive the validation that you were enough, just as you were.

This old pain silently influences your adult life. In how you relate, how you see yourself, and how you set boundaries.

Effects of a father wound in your adult life

When left unhealed, the father wound keeps affecting your daily life.

You may experience:

Fear of commitment or abandonment
Difficulty with trust and intimacy
A constant need for reassurance
Attracting unavailable or unsafe partners
Over-caring for others at your own expense
Low self-esteem or perfectionism

Sometimes it also shows up physically: fatigue, stress or tension. You’re always alert, but never truly safe.

You try to stay in control. But inside, there’s emptiness. An old absence pulling at your heart.

How can you heal this?

Healing a father wound requires recognition, safety and compassionate guidance.

I work with integrative therapy, hypnotherapy and self-love tools to help women reconnect with their strength.

In my guidance, I help you to:

Recognise the origin of your father wound
Release limiting beliefs through hypnotherapy
Feel and respect your needs and boundaries
Build trust in yourself and in others
Receive love without losing yourself

You no longer have to build a house without a foundation. You can carry yourself again, with gentleness and strength.

Ready to heal?

Do you recognise yourself in this story?I warmly invite you to book a first session — online or in my practice.

About Marga Hogenhuis-Flokstra

My name is Marga Hogenhuis-Flokstra. I am an integrative therapist based in Purmerend, Amsterdam and online. I support women between 30 and 55 who want to break patterns and reconnect with themselves.

My specialisations are relationship patterns, childhood trauma and self-love. I use integrative therapy and hypnotherapy.