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Effects of a Mother Wound in Your Adult Life
- Marga Hogenhuis
- Aug 28
- 3 min read
Do you often feel alone, even when you're surrounded by others? Women between the ages of 30 and 55 often struggle with persistent patterns without fully understanding where they come from.
One deeper cause could be the mother wound.My name is Marga Hogenhuis-Flokstra. I am an integrative therapist based in Purmerend, Amsterdam and online. I guide women through healing this deep emotional pain.
So that you can feel connected again. To yourself, to others, and to life.
Recognising the pain without knowing its origin
Kate, 43, came to me with a constant sense of emotional distance.She had a good job, friends, even a relationship, yet she never truly felt safe.
Her mother had failed to protect her from an abusive partner.Instead of support, there was silence. Her boundaries didn’t matter.
As an adult, Kate struggled with trust.She often felt too much, or never enough. Self-love was like a foreign language to her.
Perhaps this feels familiar to you. You try hard to do everything right. You take care of others. But deep down, something is missing.
Like walking barefoot through life on a path full of sharp stones.
Where does the mother wound come from?
The mother wound forms when, as a child, you lacked emotional safety and validation.Perhaps your mother was critical, absent, traumatised herself or emotionally unpredictable.
You learned to adapt. To suppress your feelings. To please others in order to feel loved.
Like a young tree that never received enough water. You grew, but your roots remained dry and fragile.
Years later, that lack still shows up. In your relationships. In your self-worth. In how you treat yourself.
What are the effects of a mother wound in your adult life?
When the mother wound remains unaddressed, it continues to shape your life. You may think you’ve moved on, that everything is fine — but deep down, something feels off.
You don’t fully trust others, even when they treat you kindly.Or you open up too quickly, driven by a deep need to be seen.
You often say yes when you mean no.Setting boundaries feels unsafe, as if it could cost you love.
You might feel guilty even when you’ve done nothing wrong.Or your inner critic never seems satisfied, no matter how hard you try.
You attract partners who mirror your old wounds — distant, critical, unreliable.
At work, perfectionism may take over. You feel responsible for everyone else’s happiness and forget your own needs.
Your body might carry the weight: fatigue, tension, insomnia, unexplained symptoms.Your body speaks what your mind cannot: something is missing.
The absence of motherly love shows up in your choices, relationships and self-image. Without realizing it, you keep repeating the old story.
And that hurts.Because deep down, you know — it can be different.
What can you do?
Healing the mother wound requires safety, recognition and loving attention.That’s why I use integrative therapy, hypnotherapy and self-love tools, tailored to your personal story.
I will help you to:
·     Explore the root of your mother wound in a safe environment
·     Release old beliefs through hypnotherapy
·     Rebuild trust from within
·     Feel and express your boundaries with love
·     See yourself as you truly are: valuable and strong
It is possible to re-root yourself. To give your own roots the nourishment they missed.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Ready to heal?
Do you want to face your mother wound and heal in a safe, supportive space?I invite you to book an introductory session, online or in my practice
About Marga Hogenhuis-Flokstra
My name is Marga Hogenhuis-Flokstra. I am an integrative therapist in Purmerend, Amsterdam and online.I guide women aged 30 to 55 who want to break patterns and reconnect with themselves.
My specialisations are relationship patterns, childhood trauma and self-love. I use integrative therapy and hypnotherapy.jeugdtrauma
FAQ
What exactly is a mother wound?
A mother wound arises when you did not receive the emotional safety and recognition you needed as a child. It can deeply impact your self-image and relationships.
How do I know if I have a mother wound?
If you often struggle with trust, self-doubt, perfectionism or boundary issues, a mother wound may be involved. Therapy can help clarify this.
